Tuesday, August 4, 2015

LDS Singles Ward, 90210

lds singles ward love

The Joys (and horriors) of a LDS singles ward!

I've attended a Mormon young single adult ward (YSA) for many years until I got hitched myself. However, along the way I've had some pretty interesting experiences at the singles ward that make me glad to be in a normal, family ward today. 

Some of my experience at the Singles ward!

One day I walked into my crazy, jam packed singles ward in the southern part of the Salt Lake Valley. I was lucky to find a seat in the soft pews, sandwich between two big, horny return missionary elders such as my self. Just one giant, young men, horny deli sandwich.
So as church started some people were still making it into the chapel. I then looked ahead and saw one RM dude a few rows ahead of me, between 4 or 5, young, sexy blond LDS women. I kept an eye on this mormon playa and wonder how he got all the ladies. Then a few minutes past and another, young, pretty blond came rushing in from the back of the chapel. Walked right past the pew with the man and his ladies and I could tell she was upset at this man by the way she was looking at him as she walked towards the row. She then angry smacked her purse at the back of the wooden pew where the ladies and the guy, maybe her ex or something, and walked on to the front.
The sound of a THUD!! echoed throughout the chapel and a few people around me also saw this and chuckled. I would of love to here this backstory, but maybe I already knew.

There was another singles ward where I attended where the bishop would get up and tell all the ladies to hurry up and get married already! And he told all the single ladies that:

"If you want to marry a doctor, go hang out around the hospital, if you want to marry a lawyer, hang out around the library."
-LDS YSA Ward Bishop
When I heard that, I was like, "What the frickin heck, gosh! You don't marry someone by their profession, you marry someone by the content of their character. Just saying.

Straight Outta singles ward mormon
The 'Graduation Ceremony' of my Singles ward

Another thing about this giant singles ward of the southern SL valley was the "Graduation Ceremony" that took place in sacrament every week. What do you mean, you ask?  Well, every week they were a few new enragements within the ward, and the bishop had everyone of them get up before the passing of the sacrament to "boast" or brag about how they are getting married, and how, "The singles ward thing does work." It was very entertaining to say the least, as every time, dudes around me, about the kind that ranked 1 out of five stars on the RM recruiter ranking on, would groan. One week they were about 6 couples that got up, 6! And one of them got up and yelled at the mic, "I scored Tiffany!!" and went back to seat down. I was like, "Oh Brother, what the hell i'm I doing here. This is worst than BYU". 

Share your stories in a YSA Ward.

If you have any hilarious, wild, and downright awkward to believe stories of a LDS singles ward, then feel free to comment below. I would love to have them on this site for all of our pleasure.

LDS singles ward stories

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