Wednesday, August 19, 2015

How a Mormon Missionary ruined our summer vacation

So my wife and I, along with our kids, decided to go on a vacation to the west coast to take some time off. We've had a stressful few months how it was, and we wanted to get away from all the stress of everyday life. So we went out on a family vacation and it was relaxing, fun and fulfilling.
However, Sunday came and we decided to visit an LDS ward in the town we were staying in. It seems like every time we are out-of-town, whenever we visit a ward, it turns out to be a negative experience. When we visited Hawaii during our honeymoon years ago, we visited a LDS ward there and everyone was moody (Even in paradise) and in Sunday school the members almost got into a fist fight over a discussion. So maybe, we thought, this time we would finally have a lovely sabbath day on our vacation.
So we went into the church and walked in their our kids and sat down. Then a set of LDS missionaries sat in the row in front of us. We were like, "cool,missionaries!" because we are from Utah and we don't see missionaries in our ward ever. However, this turned out to not be a blessing on our part.

The struggles with autistic kids at church

My kids have autism, and every sacrament meeting is a battle where the kids scream, shout, scrum and wiggle all hour and I can feel the eye balls and heads turned our way. We take the kids out when things get very bad, but this day, the kids were pretty behaved. Sacrament started and one of my kids giggled and talked off and on through out. Nothing really bad happened that day, the kids were great. However, my youngest was a little loud, and the missionaries in front of us kept looking back at us.
So I took the baby out and walked around the church for a few minutes. Then I went back and my youngest kid kept laughing and chatting away. Then I went out again, but when I came back, my wife started to walk out of the chapel, and took the kid from me and walked out. I sat down and sacrament ended finally. (It was the coldest church meeting i've ever been too, they for some stupid reason decide to turn up the AC to 35 degrees F and it was horrible). However, my wife was gone and I walked around the entire church and couldn't find her anywhere.
After Sunday School we decided to leave, because I found my wife and she was a mess.  Turns out that one of the elders that sat in front of us, wrote her a passive aggressive message on his i-pads (Elders get i-pads now days?) and handed it to her and it said: "Please shut up your loud kid, i'm trying to feel the spirit, but I can't because your kid is very loud. Take him out now!!"
I was very upset and wanted to find this entailed elder d-bag and punch him in the face. But by then we were back at the condo.
My wife was in tears and told me that she walked out of sacrament feeling stupid, worthless and felt like a bad mother. I was very upset because I was able to take our kid out trice and that stupid elder still had a fuss. His name was Elder White by the way, and Elder, you are a idiot.
So we left that ward feeling un welcomed and wronged, not only because our kids suffer from autism, but the fact that our kids did pretty well anyways that day, and still that elder ended up speaking his PA mind. Anyways, the rest of our vacation we tried not to worry, but we both felt like we were bad parents and that going to church with autistic children is impossible. So thanks a lot, Elder White, for summing up our struggle at church. We are trying very hard to make the ward members around us not hear our kids cry during sacrament and take them out in the lobby as much as we can. So, maybe when you return home and have kids yourself, you will understand.

Share your story of struggles with autistic kids at church?

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